


The Traitor's Apprentice

by Megastressedout584



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, star wars episode VII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst, Dirty Reylo, Elements of Last Jedi/Force Awakens, Emperor Hux, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Time, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gray Jedi, Idiots in Love, Jedi Rey, Rating May Change, Short, Slow Burn, Story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-02-28 12:14:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13271241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megastressedout584/pseuds/Megastressedout584
Summary: Scavenger Rey meets her employer seemingly by chance on Jakku, only to find out that he's apart of the Resistance. A wanted criminal by the First Order and nicknamed the Jedi Killer, Ben strives to forget the past. If only it stopped coming up.An AU set in the Star Wars Universe where Ben turned to the light about eighteen months before the Force Awakens.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Super excited to start a new story! The response from my first story was so great that I've decided to write more! This one has the same short story feel to it, but it's an AU. I hope to make this one steamer than my first story!  
> Note: A few lines are from the film. I don't own them!! Nor do I own Star Wars.

Ben was by far the most mysterious person Rey had ever met. 

One ordinary day, a stranger approached her slowly at Niima Outpost, making sure she saw his large figure from afar. He was tall and broad, wearing black pants and a thick black shirt that looked far more expensive than anything she’d ever owned. He had on a robe on top of this outfit, the hood up, as if the dark and heavy clothing he was wearing wasn’t punishing enough for the desert heat. 

She was scrubbing her scavenged parts for the day when he stopped in front of her, not taking a seat at the table she sat at. She squinted up at his face, barely making out his features. 

His eyes were dark, framed with long eyelashes. His nose was aquiline, but fit his face with the strong jawline and full lips. Dark hair could clearly be seen falling in front of his face. 

“Rey,” he said, his voice as dark and lovely as he was. 

Her eyebrows furrowed and she turned defensive. 

“How do you know my name?” 

“I can read minds,” he said.

She tilted her head and gripped the staff that sat parallel along the bench next to her. The way he looked at her seemed as if that were true.

“Junkboss told me your name,” he offered, sensing her nerves. 

“What do you want from me?” she spoke warily, years of living amongst scavengers making her exterior hard to break.

“My name is Ben. I have something important to discuss with you. Is there anywhere we can go that’s more private?” 

“Whatever you have to say to me, you can say it here.” She looked around, noticing that no one was paying her nor this Ben any attention. She wasn’t about to take this strange man into her AT-AT. He had an aura of danger and she sensed she wouldn’t have a chance in a fight with him. 

She thought she heard a sigh and a moment later, he was sitting across from her, the low bench likely bothersome for his height. 

She noticed even more details of his face, from the scattered moles to the wicked scar that bisected his cheek. 

“I need a co-pilot. Plutt told me you are the best.”

She scoffed at the compliment from her supposed guardian. “I’m glad he thinks so. I’m not interested though.” She couldn’t leave the planet and risk missing her parents possibly returning for her. 

“He said you would say that.” 

“I’m glad to live up to his expectations.”

“I will pay you generously for this job. I have credits or whatever currency you use here,” he said. 

She focused once more on scrubbing the metal in front of her. “Our currency is food.” 

“Then you will be rewarded a lifetime supply of it.” 

She paused and looked up at him once more, wondering what this job was about. He got to the point. 

“You see that ship,” he pointed to a seemingly regular one that Plutt had for quite sometime. It was an old ship, covered with a cloth, not standing out much in the junkyard. In her humble opinion, it was garbage. 

“I mean to steal it. I came with some junktraders and I won’t be leaving with them. This specific ship has a certain sentimental value to me.”

The corners of her lips turned up at this. “He would know I helped you. I can’t risk it.”

“Then leave this place. You can stay on as the co-pilot. You will be fed and have a bed to sleep on.” 

“I don’t even know you. Anyway, I can’t leave. I have family that expects me to stay here.” 

Ben looked around dramatically. “Where are they?”

She glared at him. “It’s none of your business.” 

“I didn’t mean to insult you. Look past your pride and seize the opportunity.”

“What do you even do?” she snapped. 

“Technically, I’m a convict of the First Order. The Resistance isn’t a big fan of me sometimes either.” 

She perked up. “You know the Resistance then? The one’s fighting for freedom?”

With a gloved hand, he reached under the layer of his shirt to pull out a black necklace, the end of it having the Resistance symbol on it. He placed it back quickly under his shirt. 

She struggled to take in this information. He was apart of the Resistance against the First Order!

“What is a member of the Resistance doing on Jakku? What could bring you here?” 

“A map to Luke Skywalker. He’s needed right now. If you haven’t noticed, the First Order is taking over.” 

“A map to Luke Skywalker!” she exclaimed.

“Quieter. I told you this would be better somewhere private.” 

“I’m sorry. It’s just that he’s a legend!” 

“A legendary fool,” he mumbled. 

“A fool? How could you say that? He defeated Darth Vader with the power of the Force-“

“I doubt that it was the power of the Force that did it,” he sneered. “What do you know of the Force?”

“I mean, I always thought it was kind of a myth. The Jedi used to use it with their lightsabers-“

He interrupted her once more. “I can’t even begin to correct that sentence.” 

“How do you even know so much on the topic? How did you even get a map to him?”

Rey was startled when the piece she placed on the table floated in mid-air to Ben’s hand. Her eyes widened as he set the piece down. 

“What are you then? A Jedi?” she asked, awe in her voice. 

She swore she saw him shrug. Either that or shudder. 

“No. I mean, sort of. I will never be a Jedi, but I can manipulate the Force.” 

“Why will you never be a Jedi?”

“Look, we can talk more after I get the map to the Resistance base. Are you going to help me or not?”

She bit her lip. He gave her a pretty convincing argument as to why she should leave. Her family, the one always in the back of her mind, had not returned for her. It had been eleven years. She knew deep down that they would never come back. The hope of it kept her going though.

His eyes suddenly strayed from hers to focus on something behind her. She turned around, surprised to see a shuttle and at least a dozen TIE fighters making their way to the ground. 

She turned back around to find Ben standing, his robe billowing slightly, revealing the lightsaber around his waist. Her eyes widened even further. 

“You look like a Jedi to me,” she said, standing up as well. She grabbed her quarterstaff, prepared to flee. 

“Are we stealing this ship now or what?” she asked.

Ben grimaced. “Now would be preferable.” 

She gestured to her speeder. He caught on and followed behind her, while everyone else in Niima Outpost was clearly hiding from the First Order Navy about to fly over. She didn’t bother with the helmet, simply tucking her staff into the side net and revving up the engine. She nearly jumped when Ben sat behind her, placing his hands on her waist. She ignored the feeling of his gloves through the thin layers of fabric. 

They made their way over, passing ships easily. They weren’t far from the ship when shots began dropping. 

“Does it have to be this specific ship?” she shouted over the chaos. 

“Yes.”

She dodged more explosives that lifted the sand around them. She huffed when they arrived, jumping off the machine and making her way to the ramp that he already activated. 

She jumped when the ship closest to them suddenly exploded. Rey saw the original shuttle land not far away, stormtroopers running out. Just as she was about to run inside, one aimed a blaster at her. She turned to run, hitting Ben, who was right behind her. She closed her eyes, expecting the impact, but quickly opened them when nothing happened to see Ben with his hand outstretched. 

“Get in,” he snapped. 

She had to keep her jaw from dropping when she realized he was holding the blast mid-air, its energy unstable in his grasp. When he let go of it, it went backwards to hit the original shooter. 

She learned a couple lessons that day. Sometimes you have to take chances in life. You never know where they will lead. The other lesson was to never make an enemy of Ben Solo. 

———

They cleared Jakku airspace minutes later, her piloting and Ben’s shooting proving to be an effective combination.

“You fly well,” he commented, taking the chair next to her. They already had an issue with the compressor, which she forcefully ripped out. She thought she saw him give her a funny look at that. 

“Are you going to tell me the sentimental value of this ship?” she broke the silence between them. 

“This was my father’s ship. Spent a lot of my childhood here.” His gloved hand reached out to touch the gold dice hanging from the ceiling. 

She didn’t push for more. She barely knew him. 

“Where to next?” she asked instead. 

“Takodana. This ship is trackable if anyone scans for its signature. We need to get it on the ground, but we cannot take it back to the base. We are going to acquire a new ship there.”

“You went through all this trouble to get this specific ship and you are just going to leave it on a different planet?” 

“We are meeting my father on Takodana, as well as an old friend. She’s going to give us a ship, so we don’t have to steal it.”

Rey put the coordinates in and did the calculations, jumping the ship to lightspeed. Satisfied, she sat back and looked at the beauty of hyperspace through the front windows. She glanced at her co-pilot, surprised to find him looking at her. His stare, like all his stares so far, was piercing. 

“Do you know that you are Force sensitive?” 

“What?”

“You have a Force-signature. A strong one. That’s why I approached you.” 

She looked at him incredulously. “Are you saying that you only gave me this chance because I may have the Force? Not for my skills as a pilot?” 

“It was both really.” 

“Are you saying that if I wanted to, I could become a Jedi?” 

Once more he seemed to flinch. “No one can become a Jedi anymore. All of them, except Luke Skywalker, are dead.” 

She stared at him thoughtfully. “Can you tell me why you aren’t one?”

“I lost every right to be called a Jedi. I use the dark side. It’s apart of who I am.”

“What you did out there was amazing,” she declared. “If that is the dark side then I probably would be in your position.” 

He shook his head, his hair falling in his face. She thought he looked pained. “You have too much light in you to ever be in my position.” 

“If I’ve had the powers of the Force, how come I’ve never noticed?” What do you mean by too much light?”

“Some people are late bloomers. You could have just recently become Force-sensitive. The light I see in you is like an aura. It surrounds you.”

She looked down at her skin, wondering if she could physically see the light herself.

“It doesn’t work like that.” 

She stared at him, slightly startled. “You weren't kidding about mind-reading, were you?

“You pick up things quickly, for a desert rat,” he said, as if the compliment couldn’t be said without an insult. 

“I don’t want you doing that. It’s an invasion of privacy,” she scolded. She was mortified to think that he heard her thoughts on his handsome appearance.

“I can teach you how to block it.” 

They sat next to each other for hours, practicing this technique. She was startled when at one point, she could finally feel him in there, sifting through memories easily. In her panic, she managed to throw him out of her head. She didn’t want him seeing the cold lonely nights on Jakku, the tears she shed, and the pathetic hope she held onto. 

For the first time since she met him, he seemed startled with the force at which she managed to block him. 

“That was impressive. You picked that up faster than anyone I’d ever seen.”

She took his praise with a smile. “You are a good teacher.” 

She swore she saw the tips of his ears, which peaked out slightly from his shoulder-length hair, redden. 

They arrived after a few hours to the Mid-Rim planet. When they pulled out of hyperspace, Rey resisted the urge to gasp and looked in wonderment. 

“I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy,” she told him.

She didn’t look at him for fear that she would see sympathy in that gaze of his. She didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for her. 

Ben switched seats with her, steering the ship as it landed in a field in front of a castle. Rey nearly ran down the ramp, bending down to touch the grass that lay under her feet. A lake lay near the ship as well.

“So beautiful,” she breathed. 

She spun around to her new boss, realizing she wasn’t acting very mature. Ben didn’t seem to mind or care, grabbing a bag from the ship and once more, putting his hood up. 

“This is Maz Kanata’s place. She’s an old friend and who we are getting the ship from. We are going to her cantina. My father should be here any minute. Lay low and don’t attract any attention. There are bound to be First Order sympathizers who would know my face.”

She nodded obediently and followed him up the hill leading to the beautiful castle, where an open courtyard led to the main doors. The courtyard had colorful flags hanging everywhere, looking chaotic, yet majestic at the same time. 

The cantina that lay beyond the large doors was loud and dingy, nicer than Jakku’s by far. She kept her eyes down for the most part as they sat down at an empty booth. She sat next to Ben, fiddling with her tunic at their close proximity. He smelled clean, unlike half the people that lived on her planet. 

“What’s your father like?” she asked, breaking the silence between them. Ben seemed to be the strong, silent type. 

She swore he rolled his eyes in a way not suitable for a grown man. He had to have at least five years on her. 

“We don’t get along well. We are similar, yet different. You will see soon enough.” 

Before Rey could ask more questions, a short humanoid female approached them and hopped up on the bench across from them. Her rounded glasses didn’t seem to help her much as she leaned close to both of their faces and finally sat back. 

“Ben Solo. Did you finally find yourself a girl after all these years?” she began. 

Both of their faces turned red. Rey focused on the table edge. 

“She’s a new co-worker. I’ve come to ask for-“

“I know what you’ve come to ask for,” Maz interrupted. “The same thing you Solo’s always want. A ship.” 

“My father seeks to take back the Millennium Falcon, which I came here with. I have to return to base with a different ship since scanners can pick up the Falcon. He will be here soon.”

Rey’s head snapped to the side. She couldn’t stop the sharp inhalation that came out. “The Millennium Falcon? That was the ship we were on? The one that belonged to Han Solo-“ she paused, realizing the connection. “Your father is the war hero, Han Solo. You’re his son!” 

“Glad that’s all I’m known for,” Ben told her spitefully.

She bit her lip and looked down, not wanting to argue with her new employer. He was a nerf-herder. 

“I see you are still mean, Ben Solo. A trait that never looked good on you,” Maz continued, her wise eyes peering at Rey. 

“I’m working on it,” he snapped. 

“If your father is coming, does that mean my boyfriend will be here?”

“Chewie is back on Kashyyyk for a bit. I’m sure my father will tell him that they have their ship back.”

The fact that Ben was associated and related to war heroes explained some of his somewhat condescending behavior. 

When Han Solo finally arrived, he did so boldly. He came up to the table, leather jacket and all, clasping his hand on Ben’s shoulder. Rey’s eyes eagerly took in details, noticing the similarities between the aging smuggler and his son. They both had the same bold features and eyes. The mischievous glint in Han’s eyes reflected in his son’s at times. 

“My son, it’s good to see you. It’s been too long.” 

She thought she could feel the annoyance rolling off Ben in waves. 

“Dad,” was all he said. 

Han Solo’s attention turned to Maz, then finally to her. 

“Who’s this?” he asked, a grin easily forming on his face. 

“I’m Rey. New co-pilot for your son,” she maintained. 

Ben quickly rushed to speak. She knew it was to avoid another awkward comment about their relationship. She could tell that Han already had it on the tip of his tongue after she told him of her employment. 

She listened attentively to all of them, noting that the rebel base was in the Ileenium System on D’Qar. Ben’s mother, a certain General Leia Organa, was mentioned. Another war hero. As she continued to listen, a shrill scream echoed in her ears. She looked around, startled. No one seemed to have heard it. Her present company continued to talk. 

The crying and screaming continued, to her utter dismay. 

“Are you okay child?” Maz asked her. 

Rey looked into her kind eyes. “I just have to use the restroom, excuse me.”

She probably looked crazy when she stood to follow the sound, walking slowly to decipher where it was coming from. 

She isolated it to a set of stairs in the back, lit by lanterns. She glanced back nervously as she walked down the steps, wary she was going somewhere dangerous. 

The screaming was louder when she got to the last step, the panicked cry of a little girl it seemed. She walked cautiously down a tunnel, coming to an underground vault. She was surprised to find treasures everywhere and no sight of a girl. 

A seemingly innocent wooden box sat on a table, amongst a few dozen trinkets. She found herself being called to it in some strange way. Unlocking the small clasp, she found the screaming taking over her entire senses. The box revealed a cylindrical piece of metal with a grip and button. A lightsaber.

As if she were put in a trance, she reached out to touch it. 

She gasped as she was transported to the hallway of a ship, it’s blue light highlighting the metal walls and floor. She ran forward.

She fell to the ground as the floor collapsed beneath her, staring up at a cloaked man with a metal hand. He was on his knees, a fire burning in the distance. She could sense his grief.

Rain fell heavily on her and she sensed a presence behind her, flipping over to find a man about to deliver a blow to her with a long blade, but said man suddenly had a red light through his chest. Her attacker dropped and her savior, a masked man in black robes, seemed to be looking at her. She stumbled back, frightened he would do the same to her. She felt as if she knew this masked man and found her fear of him to be foreign. 

The dark of the night transformed into the blinding sunshine, the original sound of screaming she heard turning into a crescendo of “No!” 

A little girl with three buns was struggling against the grip of Unkar Plutt. 

“Quiet girl,” he demanded. Rey looked up to where this younger version of her had her gaze. A cruiser was leaving the atmosphere. 

She found the sky darkening, taking her into a room of red walls. She gasped when the masked man appeared before her, fighting red figures. The same red lightsaber was wielded. A strange creature lay severed in half near her feet. She stumbled back further, falling on her back in her haste to get away from the dead body. 

The dark and dim lighting of the vault appeared in her vision once more, the stone ground beneath her hands warmer than the marble she originally fell on. Her breathing was rapid and she struggled to make sense of the whispers that ran through her head. 

“These are your first steps,” the last one had said. 

When she saw Maz standing in the entrance to the vault, she was relieved. 

“What was that?” she demanded, out of breath.

“The lightsaber is calling to you. It belonged to Luke Skywalker and his father before that. It wants you to wield it.” 

“I don’t want to touch that thing ever again,” she blurted. 

Maz gave her a sympathetic smile. “You cannot run from destiny, my child.” 

“I can try,” she whispered. “This was a mistake. I never should have left.” 

“Whatever is holding you back, my child, you must let it go.” Maz came up to her and patted her shoulder, easily able to reach it while she lay on the floor. “You know deep down that whoever you are waiting for isn’t coming back. You need to forge your own destiny now.” 

Rey felt a couple stray tears fall from her eyes, the strange desperation that always kept her on Jakku already fading with distance. She remembered flashes of her childhood, but for some reason, it was buried and nearly forgotten in her mind. However, she felt as if she were betraying someone but couldn’t put a name to it. 

“I need to get out of here for a second,” she said, fleeing the presence of Maz. 

She heard her let out a noise of disagreement, but Rey was already flying up the stairs. 

She ran to the nearby forest. She felt haunted by the desperation in her younger face. She struggled to retain memories of a time before Jakku, finding them harder to see now that she was off the planet. 

She knew she had a mother and father. Someone made a promise to come back. But they never did. She sat on a large rock, covering her face with her hands. She stayed like this for minutes, frustrated by her weakness. A rustling of leaves from next to her caused her head to snap up. It was Ben. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” she lied. She watched him carefully as he sat next to her on the rock. 

“It’s okay to not be okay,” he offered. 

She shrugged. “Something is wrong with me. I’ve wanted to see other worlds from the time I was a kid and now that I’m finally off of Jakku, something feels off.” 

He looked down at the ground when he spoke. “You have a block on your mind. I saw it today when I was in your head.”

She wanted to hit this man with her staff, preferably across the face. In the span of around 6 hours, he managed to completely turn her life around. 

“You couldn’t of told me that sooner? Like when we were on the Falcon? Why do you leave out important bits of information and I just have to figure things out on my own?” She was fuming at this point. 

“Didn’t think you were ready to know. Clearly you weren’t,” he snapped. 

“What kind of block? Did someone put it there?” Rey didn’t know how much more of the Force she could take today. 

“Yes. I can’t tell you who put it there-,” he stopped. 

He hopped gracefully off the rock, his gloved hand cupping over his forehead to look up at something through the trees. 

“What are you looking at?” she asked, growing annoyed that he wasn’t paying attention to their important conversation. 

“I’m looking at death.” He gestured for her to come over and pointed up at the sky. The sky, already turning a darker blue as the sun went down, had a distinctly white mark on it. An explosion was happening light years away. 

“Starkiller Base. They’ve used it. My best guess would be that it was aimed at the Hosnian System,” he said. She felt the same in her gut. 

In less than a minute, the capital of the New Republic was gone. Rey could almost feel the change in the air. 

“We need to go. Now.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey settles in to the Resistance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi readers! Again, I'm very happy with the response I got on this!  
> Side note: I am still writing this story and don't know the length of it. I'm guessing around 5 or 6 chapters. But don't quote me on that.  
> Leave me a comment if you liked, I love reading them. They always put a smile on my face :)

They took off in an old freighter. Ben piloted this time. She sat in the co-pilot chair, shaken by what she saw. 

“How could they do that? They killed billions of innocent people!”

The freighter made the jump to lightspeed easily. “Some people will do anything to get ahead in life, Rey. The sooner you learn it, the better off you will be.” 

“What do you know of this Starkiller Base?” she asked, seething with hatred. 

“It’s like the Death Star, but built into a moon. It can easily wipe out systems.” 

“They just destroyed the entire Senate. How is the Resistance going to win this one?” 

“Most likely by blowing it up. That’s the usual plan of action.” 

Rey looked at his face, dead serious, and let out a bit of hysterical laughter. 

“The first day on the job and I’m already losing my mind.” 

Ben smirked at her. “Just wait till tomorrow. You will never be bored.” 

They arrived on D’Qar with no problem. Ben sent special clearance codes to tell them that he was coming. She was too tired to take in the green rolling hills and overcast sky. Her sleeping schedule was being thrown off and she knew that her usual bedtime had passed. 

They landed softly on a bit of concrete. She wasn’t as eager to leave the ship now, nervous to meet new people. She never was good with people. 

Ben left the ship with his same bag, confidently strolling to the end of the ramp.

“Coming?” he asked, turning around. 

“Yes.”

Pilots with helmets and orange jumpsuits were roaming the place, while others in brown jackets roamed casually. A large hanger contained even more ships and clearly a bunker lay further on. Rey took in everything eagerly now, excitement building in her chest. This group of people was fighting for what they believed in. They were fighting against tyranny. 

As they walked further toward presumably the bunker, she noticed that Ben received a lot of stares. 

“Why are they all looking at you?” she whispered to him.

“I told you I’m not their biggest fan,” he said.. 

“What did you do?” 

“I’m a traitor. But I’m good. For now,” he sneered. 

_A traitor? The son of war heroes?_

She had to nearly jog to keep up with his long strides. 

“I want a better explanation. Where are we going now?”

“The bunker ahead where everyone stays. I have to talk to my mother. I mean to also introduce you to some people,” he added hesitantly. 

They arrived at the bunker and descended further into the place. They eventually arrived at a set of doors, a man standing outside them, keeping watch, The man gave a nod to Ben, who opened the doors and strode in confidently. A large table sat in the middle of the room, where about ten people and a couple of droids stood around. 

“Ben!” An older woman, about a foot and a half shorter than Ben, went around the table and wrapped her arms around him in a fierce hug. Her hair was tucked in a tight bun, her face beautiful even in her old age. She assumed this was his mother. This was the warmest greeting for Ben that she had seen so far. She watched in amusement as he stiffly hugged her back.

“Mom,” he greeted. He gestured to her.

“This is Rey. My new co-pilot. I guess also a new member of the Resistance now. I didn’t give her that much of a choice,” he admitted. 

Rey nearly looked at him, mortified. “If you would accept me, I’d be honored to join the cause.”

“Rey helped me get the Millennium Falcon off of Jakku,” Ben continued. “It’s in the hands of Han Solo once more.” 

The famous Leia Organa smiled. “Well, then you must be a special girl. You can call me Leia,” she shook Rey’s hand firmly.

“It’s a true honor to met you,” she replied, trying to keep the hero-worship from her voice. 

Leia gave her another warm smile at this, then turned to Ben. “The map? Or did you forget your first priority on Jakku?” 

“I didn’t forget. That was the easiest part of the mission. Well, until the First-Order came. I have no idea who tipped them off. Probably that junkboss-“ 

“Ben,” Leia interrupted him, impatient. Rey resisted the urge to smile. Ben actually babbled when he was nervous, it seemed. 

From his robe, he grabbed a data chip, handing it to his mother. The others in the room approached to view it. 

“BB-8,” Leia called out. An orange and white astromech droid rolled toward the General, beeping excitedly. When they inserted the map, BB-8 projected it as a hologram. Everyone backed up to better view it. 

“I don’t recognize the system,” someone said. 

“It’s just as I feared,” a gold droid announced. “It’s only a piece of it.” 

Everyone groaned, the disappointment evident. 

———

It didn’t take her long to figure out why Ben was labeled a traitor. It was early morning of the next day, her sleeping schedule off. She was sitting outside, the morning light not yet risen. The large corridor that she shared with multiple women was becoming too much for her. She wasn’t used to sleeping near people. It made her nervous. However, the bed was nicer than anything she remembered sleeping on.

Ben got his own rooms, claiming that “I wouldn’t wake up” if he slept in the same area as the other men. 

She had her quarterstaff by her side, just in case anyone decided to mess with her. Old habits die hard. 

A man’s voice caused her to jump and grab her staff quickly. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to say hello,” he said, coming around to her front. She relaxed her grip on the staff and set it down, eyeing him warily. 

“I’m Finn,” he offered. 

“Rey,” she replied. 

For some reason, Rey almost felt his niceness. It was strange, but it was almost as if she were picking up an aura, like Ben mentioned to her. Finn was a good one. She could just tell. 

“I saw you come in with Ky-, I mean Ben Solo.” 

She picked up the mistake but wasn’t as put off by it as she should of been. “Yeah. I’m his new co-pilot. Or like partner in crime I guess,” she corrected. 

“Interesting. I’ve kind of always related to the guy. I come from the First Order too.” 

Rey froze at this news. His earlier words came to her mind. I’m a traitor. 

“What did you do there?” she asked carefully, trying to act as if she knew Ben’s history already. Truthfully, it seemed like her employer had far more secrets than the average person.

“I was a stormtrooper, taken as a baby. I made the acquaintance of a Commander here and the rest is in the past. Been here for a couple of years now.” 

“That’s amazing.” She did find his story inspiring, but all she could focus on was the thought of Ben working for the people who built a weapon to wipe out planets. 

“What about you?” Finn asked. “Do you have a story? Not that it’s any of my business,” he stammered out quickly. 

“I was a scavenger on Jakku. I’m no one,” she mumbled. 

“Doubtful. Everyone has a story.”

_I don’t remember mine_.

She sat talking to the ex-stormtrooper until the sun came up. He even invited her to sit with him at breakfast. She accepted. 

She went back to her bed, surprised to find new clothes on the bed she was given. It had a note on it. 

_Be ready by 9. I’ll be in the hanger. Pack a bag._

She took in his elegant handwriting, crumpling the paper and dropping it to the bed. She picked up the grey outfit, feeling the soft fabric. There were brown pants and a long white tunic, as well as a lighter grey fabric acting as a vest and even new arm wrappings. 

She was impressed by his ability to nail her size and style. It kind of frightened her. 

She ate breakfast with Finn, meeting a Commander Poe Dameron and Rose Tico. She was introduced to many more at the table, but couldn’t remember anyone else. 

She managed to make it just on time to the hanger. Ben was already there. 

“Good morning,” he greeted. 

“Good morning,” she repeated. 

“Luke is a dead end,” he began as they walked outside. “The Resistance is focusing on destroying Starkiller Base. First step is getting plans for it.” 

“If you were apart of the First Order, then wouldn’t you know the blueprints for it?”

He stopped his walking and met her gaze, startled. 

“Who told you?” 

“It doesn’t matter. What did you even do there?” 

“I did what I had to do,” he nearly yelled. His temper was easy to provoke and she stared him down for racing his voice. It was relatively empty around them, but one or two pilots looked at them strangely. 

Ben didn’t seem to care. “You want to know what I am? You asked me why there weren’t anymore Jedi and why I couldn’t be one. The truth is that I’m the Jedi Killer! I killed them all!”

Rey let out a breath of air she didn’t realize she was holding. 

“Who is them all?”

“Everyone at Luke’s Jedi school,” he spat. 

“If you killed innocent people does that mean you’re a Sith?”

“No! I was the apprentice to the Supreme Leader of the First Order. When I was training to be a Jedi, I turned. That’s a long story that I don’t want to get into right now. The story of coming back here is an even longer one.” 

“How are you even allowed to come here?” she asked, resisting the urge to take a step back from his rage. 

“I killed the Supreme Leader. I explained to the leaders why I turned. Eventually, they warmed up to the idea of me on their side. I am a powerful ally. Hated, but powerful,” he sneered. “My parents were war heroes. They are probably the only reason why I wasn’t executed at first sight.” 

Rey shuffled awkwardly. “I don’t know what to say.” 

“No more questions for today, how about that?” He turned dramatically, his robe billowing out behind him. 

She resisted the urge to pout and stomped off after him. She trusted him about as far as she could throw him. 

———

They didn’t speak much in the four days they were together. He was brooding it seemed and she didn’t know how to talk to him. 

They were currently traveling near the Core worlds. They had landed on Corellia, where an important First Order scientist lived. To get his exact location was the difficult part, since they only had a name. They were going to go back the next day. She wondered how many people Ben would trick with the Force. 

She was sitting on her side of the ship when he ignited his lightsaber for the first time around her. She stared across the room at it. It was the same one from her vision. Cross design and red. He was the masked man. 

At this point, she wasn’t surprised. 

———

When a blaster was pointed at her head for the first time, everything changed.

They were escaping Corellia, after invading the home and mind of the engineer. Rey took little joy in watching the man grip his head in pain as Ben ran through his memories. Ben put him to sleep right after. He shared the information with her as they snuck out. 

“The Base drains the energy of a star in order to charge and requires a thermal oscillator, which sustains the energy on the planet. If the thermal oscillator was destroyed, it would de-stabilize the planet's core and implode the Base,” he recounted. 

Just as they were about to leave through the door, someone jumped out from the corner, a blaster in their hand. 

Rey moved slowly, eyes wide. Ben thought he didn’t detect any other presences in the house. 

The woman’s hand shook. “What do you want? What did you do to him,” she demanded. 

Rey blinked innocently at the woman. “We didn’t do anything to him. Put the blaster down,” she commanded on instinct. 

To her relief and Ben’s astonishment, the woman instantly complied. 

“Forget you saw us,” Ben added.

As they ran outside, she let out a laugh. 

“She listened to me,” she said. “I used the Force!”

“That wasn’t listening, that was compulsion,” he said. 

“We did it! We know how to destroy the Base!” Not thinking with adrenaline running through her system, she hugged him. 

He was warm and stiff beneath her. She pulled away when she remembered herself. This man was a killer. 

They shuffled to their positions in the front of the ship. He quickly brought them into space, jumping to lightspeed, eager to get the information back personally to D’Qar.

“I’m giving you a promotion. You proved yourself today,” he said. 

“A promotion? I’ve been working for you for only a few days.” 

“There will be no raise. Same accommodations. Only change in title.” 

She bit her lip nervously. “What is it?”

“Apprentice,” he declared. He moved from his chair to the back of the ship, riffling through his bag. When he pulled out Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber, she raised an eyebrow. She suspected Maz had something to do with this. He handed it to her. 

“You were meant to have it. It belonged to my grandfather. He was powerful too.” 

She grabbed it reluctantly, surprised to find it felt right. “Did you just give me a compliment? Like without anyone witnessing it?” 

Ben rolled his eyes. “Working on the mean part of my personality is all.” 

“So you will teach me the dark side of the Force? No offense, but I don’t want to learn that.”

He sighed. “I will teach you the general way to manipulate the Force. People only invented that dark-side stuff when the Jedi were around.”

“What if I want to be a Jedi?” she asked boldly. 

“I’m not going to stop you.”

He chipped a little bit of her hard exterior away with that line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, the block on her mind will be thoroughly addressed. They have a lot on their plate. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't update yesterday, I was driving across my state :) Happy spring semester!  
> Enjoy this update, it's sort of a filler to explain some things. I also enjoy building the relationship between our "Jedi" before they hop into bed together. Which is def going to happen soon :):):)

They were well-received back on the base. Ben had sent the message ahead of them from the ship.

Finn excitedly talked to her during dinner and she found smiles coming easier now. She found her gaze straying to Ben occasionally, who sat with the other leaders. At one point, his eyes met her's and she looked down quickly, embarrassed to be caught staring. 

She wondered if he had more scars besides the one on his face. She often thought about who delivered that blow and if he deserved it. He probably did at the time. 

Her new friends cleared out, half of them pilots, who claimed they needed time to prepare their X-wings. Finn wrapped his arm around Rose when they stood up. Rey gave them a wave goodbye. 

She waited at the table alone until Ben finally stood up with the rest of them. 

Leia, on her way out, strode over to her table. Rey stood respectfully. “Leia,” she greeted. 

“Rey. I came to tell you how grateful I am that you accompanied my son on his mission. You two make quite the team,” Leia commented. 

“A lot of it was him,” she said. 

“I’m sure you underestimate yourself,” Leia continued, a glint in her eyes. “We will use this information as soon as possible to destroy that horrible weapon. I hope you stay with us until we prove victorious. May the Force be with you.” 

She pulled her into a hug then. Rey was nearly speechless, but managed to let something out. “With you as well.” 

Leia cast her an almost motherly look and left the room, joining the other admirals. Ben approached her now. 

“I see you are carrying the lightsaber,” he said. They were nearly alone in the dining hall. 

“I’ve grown attached to it,” she admitted. 

She followed him out of the room. “What’s our next mission? Are we going to Starkiller Base with the others?”

“So eager to help,” Ben chuckled. “We are actually going to leave that to the others. I’m starting your training today, remember?”

“Really?” she probed, a nervousness settling in her stomach. 

“Don’t sound too excited.” 

He led her to a blue landspeeder. They drove at least a few miles away, hidden underneath the dense forest. 

When they came to a somewhat open area amongst the trees, he parked the vehicle. 

Five minutes later, they sat across from each other. They were on the grass, a blanket underneath them to protect them from the morning dew. 

“What do you feel?” he asked. 

She felt a light breeze on her face. She could feel his gaze on her. She dug deeper within herself. 

“Light. Darkness. Warmth. Cold. Life in the tress and decay in the soil.” 

“Good. What do you feel within yourself?”

“I’m light,” she said. “You have both. Light and dark.” 

“I didn’t ask you what I feel.” 

“Just figured I’d tell you.” 

She heard him scoff. “Let’s try moving objects. Manipulating the Force around you comes with great practice.”

It took all of ten minutes for her to leviatate a small rock. Ben didn’t seem surprised. 

“Lifting multiple and heavy objects will come with practice. I trust you can do that on your own time,” he said. 

“Can you teach me more about mind tricks? I want to break the block on my mind.” 

“The only person that can break the block on your mind is the person that put it there. If I do it, I would risk tampering with your memories. Many things could go wrong.” 

“Well, who put it there?” she asked, frustrated. 

“I believe my uncle did. You know him as Luke Skywalker.” 

She glared at him and her patience snapped. With skill she didn’t know she had, she pushed herself into his head. 

He wasn’t prepared for it. His thoughts were already on the topic, so she was able to pick it up quickly. 

She saw flashes. She evidently didn’t have the skill yet to see full-blown memories laid out. She saw Luke Skywalker in his Jedi garb, a metal hand clasing her-, no Ben’s, shoulder. _Uncle_ , a stray thought said. A red lightsaber. A beautiful building. Sleepless nights. Darth Vader. A toddler, three buns on her head. This toddler grew up following him around. 

Rey pulled out when she felt a physical force shove her back against the ground. Ben stood above her, his hands pushing on her shoulders to physically restrain her. 

“Don’t ever do that again!” he snarled. Standing up, he turned his body around, his back now facing her. 

“Was that me? Did I know you before all this?” she was out of breath, failing to keep the panic from her voice. 

He said something quietly that she didn’t pick up. “What?” she asked. 

“I don’t know exactly what you saw. Be more specific.” His voice sounded almost ashamed. 

“I saw myself. When I was little. You knew me when I was kid. Ho-How did you know me?” she stuttered. 

“We were classmates at Luke’s Jedi academy. You don’t remember this because after I destroyed the temple, Luke wipped your memories. I killed everyone there Rey! You were hiding but came out last minute, trying to get my attention. One of the other knights heard you and went to kill you. I killed him first. You were like my little sister. I wasn’t going to hurt you, but I couldn’t take you to my Master. He called you weak and said you had to much light in you. I couldn’t bring you with me. It was fate when I saw an injured Luke in the distance, watching the flames. He just sat there, waiting for me to kill him. I gave you to him instead and told him to hide you. The Supreme Leader wanted every Jedi dead. I couldn’t know where you were going. He would of found out.” 

She gaped at him. “What. The. Fuck.” 

“I know this sounds crazy-“

“Obviously this is kriffing insane!” 

“But it’s true.” 

“What about my parents?” she whispered, frightened to hear the answer. 

“Your parents had sold you to Luke. They were drunks. Luke came across you off-planet and saw your Force-sensitvity and tried to convince your parents to let you stay with him. They refused and he wanted to get you out of your difficult situation, so he paid them.” 

Tears readily fell down her face. “I don’t believe you. I have memories-“ 

“False ones,” Ben interupted her gently. “I was there when you arrived. You were about three. You followed me around all the time. We were friends.” 

“Why did Luke choose Jakku of all places?” 

Ben sat down in front of her, closer this time. “The only reason I can think of is it's far off from the First Order's radar. The man must have lost it to send you there though. He managed to suppress your Force-signature and powers for years. So he did something right.”

He was close to her, a pleading look in his eyes. She brought her hand to his check, resting it there for a second. The next second, she pulled her hand back to slap him hard. She stood up quickly, noticing the shocked expression on his face. 

“All of this is your fault! You ruined my life!” She stormed away, hoping the slap stung. _He was a liar by withholding the truth_. She took off into the forest. 

He was perusing her. She was running past trees, trying to put some distance between her and the Jedi Killer.

Her visions were slowly making more sense over the past few days. Now everything came into focus. Luke and Leia were twins. Their father was Darth Vader. Ben’s grandfather was Darth Vader. 

“Rey, stop running! I have more to explain!” 

She gave up and stopped. If his physique was anything to go by, he was in great phsyical condition. He would follow her forever. 

“I now know why you need your own room,” she told him bitterly when he appeared. “I’d probably kill you too.”

He stopped a few feet in front of her. “Take my hand. I can show you better than I can tell you.”

She held her hands behind her back. “No!” 

“Please,” he begged. He took off a glove, revealing a pale, large hand. He held it out to her. She stared at it for a few long moments, then against her better judgement, slowly went forward to take it. 

She was sucked into his memories, similar to when she touched the lightsaber. She was transported to a tent, where he slept. He was younger and sleeping peacefully against a bed roll. He couldn’t be more than eighteen. Someone came in the tent. A fearful Luke Skywalker. He stared hard at his nephew for sometime, before looking startled. To her utter disbelief, he pulled out his lightsaber, staring at it in agony before igniting it. 

Ben woke up to this. He looked as startled as she did, but reacted quickly. He summoned his own, pressing it against Luke’s. She heard a “Ben, no!” 

Suddenly, the dwelling collapsed around Luke. 

She blinked and suddenly was looking at Ben once more. She pulled her hand away from his warm one. For some strange reason, she felt as if she could still feel herself in his head. 

“He thought I already turned to the dark-side. He wanted to kill me, Rey.” 

———

She was practicing her forms alone the next day. She needed time on her own to think. She was used to fighting with her staff anyway, so it was somewhat new territory. 

Ben was too busy to teach her new forms. He was with his mother in the war room. Today was the day of the attack against Starkiller Base. 

Suddenly, an alarm went off on the base. She wasn’t expecting it to be so loud and nearly cut down the tree she was using as a post. 

She immediately ran underground. They base was sparse of people with all the squadrons gone. Rey nearly ran into C-3PO. 

“Mistress Rey! Master Ben wants you to stay close to him. A quick evacuation may be needed. Apparently the weapon is being charged as we speak. And it’s pointed at us!” the droid exclaimed. 

“Let’s hope they can disable it before that,” she said. She walked into the war room, where an anxious Leia was communicating with multiple people.

Ben looked busy as well, but nodded at her when she appeared. The alarms continued to go off. 

“Turn it off Ben. She’s here,” Leia said. “Connix, anyone else not accounted for?” 

“Not that I know of General.” 

“Good.” 

Ben hit a button near him. The alarm promptly shut off. 

“Shields are down General. Black Leader moving in, Blue and Red squadron follow,” Poe’s voice rang out. 

“That oscialltor is likely deep inside there. This isn’t going to work Mom,” Ben insisted. 

“We have to try. I want to get our ground group out of there.” 

Rey watched nervously as the monitor showed X-wings flying over the Base. She held her breath as they reached the hexagonal structure. 

“The weapon is still charging General,” Connix said, from her right. “Seems that structural damage has occured but not enough to stop it from firing.”

“Don’t say I told you so,” Leia snapped to her son. “Ground team, I need you to sneak in there and create an opening. Detonate as much as you can. We will do another fly over in five minutes.”

“I told you so,” Ben said. Rey looked up from the map to look at him warily, wondering what his mother would say. To her surprise, he looked focused on the map and seemed to be doing other things. No one commented on what he said. 

“Did you just say something Ben?” she asked. 

He looked at her like she had ten heads. “No.” 

She pursed her lips and assumed she was imagining it. She focused once more on the layout of the Base. 

“Who’s the group on the ground?”

“Finn, Rose, Han and Chewie. They went on the Falcon,” Leia said, nervously fiddling with her hands. Rey wondered if Ben’s parents were still together. They made quite the couple. She also didn’t know Finn and Rose were with them. 

“I still can’t believe they landed on the planet at lightspeed,” Connix mentioned. 

“What?” Rey asked in disbelief. Before she could ask for details, Poe’s voice rang out again.

“We got company,” he said over the comm. 

“How many?” Leia asked. 

“At least fifty. They will bring in more. How’s the ground group doing?”

“Ground group is inside oscillator as we speak.” 

“I’ll try to hold them off.”

“Five minutes until fully-charged General,” Connix said. 

Rey stared nervously around at the leaders. They didn’t move. All of them looked determined. 

“Let’s leave Mom. Bring the comm, you can still communicate in a ship,” Ben said. 

“I have faith in them. They can do it.” 

“Mom, we can’t bet our lives on that!”

“I’m not leaving.The Resistance is here Ben. All of our weapons-“

“Don’t mean anything if you’re dead! You guys are the Resistance,” he argued. 

Leia came up to him, pulling him into a hug. “Hope, son. It’s all that you need.” 

Just then, the ceiling of the hexagonal oscillator opened. The ground team managed to set off the explosives. 

Leia pulled away from her son. “Commander, you have an opening.” 

“Right away, General,” Poe seemed winded. 

Poe Dameron managed to make a direct hit a minute later. Starkiller Base exploded in a fiery light. _It turned into an actual star_. 

“Returning to Base now,” Poe said. 

“Good work Commander,” Leia smiled. 

Everyone around her began to clap and hug. Rey grinned when complete strangers hugged her. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as she thought it would be. 

She looked around for Ben. She realized he left. 

———

She tracked him down to the dining hall. He sat at a table, facing away from the door. 

She approached him tentatively, making sure to walk in front of him before sitting down. 

“I’m not good company right now,” he said. 

She shrugged. “You aren’t usually the best company anyway.” From the side, she saw his lips turn up slightly.

“Not the celebrating type?” she asked at his silence. 

“What do you think?”

She laughed at him. If she didn’t laugh, she might cry. 

“We are alive. It’s a miracle.” 

“I’d call it dumb luck,” Ben said. 

“Why are you the way you are?” she joked. “We just won! Now all you want to do is sulk.” 

“I’m actually keeping my distance from the others because I’m striving to be less mean. I’m feeling mean right now,” he admitted. 

“Very mature of you to leave then.” 

“I thought so too.” 

She sat there with him for a while. “We’ll have to leave here soon,” she commented. 

“No doubt.” 

“Can I ask you something?” she asked.

She could almost feel his anxiety. “Go ahead.” 

“What was I like as a kid? You said we were friends, so I was just wondering.” 

She felt his posture relax. “You were fearless and stubborn. All of us used to play with you in the open field in front of the temple. You were strong in the Force too. I taught you how to meditate and levitate things by the time you were six. I was the one that even taught you your hairstyle. My mom was putting her hair like that for a while, so I pased it on to you.” His tone was fond. 

She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “Did you love me?” she questioned, instantly regreting it. “You don’t have to answer that-“

“No, it’s fine. I know I did. You were like a sister to me.” 

Something about that term bothered her. She didn’t want him to see her as a sister. It felt wrong. 

“I was punished when Snoke found out I let you go. He told me I was weak.”

“He was the weak one. Now he’s dead because of you.” 

“Yet his memory is still alive in my nightmares,” Ben revealed. 

She frowned at him and with a finger, slowly touched his forhead where his scar started. She ran it down his forehead to his check bone. He was beautiful.

She pulled her hand away when she realized how intimate the gesture was. “Sorry,” she whispered, embarassed. 

He swallowed nervously. “It’s fine.” 

She shuffled away from him. “Do you think the block on my mind will ever be broken? Can we locate Luke?” 

“I don’t know. We have no information on where the rest of the map is.” 

“Are you still mad at him?”

He shrugged. “No. He wanted to kill me because he thought I would turn into a monster. He wasn’t wrong.” 

“I don’t think you’re a monster. I think you are just human.”

“I’m a killer ,Rey. No abandonment issues can justify that.” 

“We do what we have to do to survive,” she insisted. “Maybe you were meant to fall to the dark side, so when you came to the light, you would know it’s what you truly wanted.”

“I’m not in the light or dark, Rey. I’m just here.”

“Then I’ll be here with you.”

She sat talking to him until everyone arrived back. It felt right.

———

She was walking back from the bathroom, about to go to sleep for the last night on D’Qar. New base arrangments had already been made. They would go to Crait, which held an old rebel base from around thirty years prior. 

She nearly came out of her skin when she saw Ben appear before her. In nothing more than a towel. 

She covered her eyes and heard him make a noise in surprise. 

“What are you doing here?” she said, grateful the hall was empty. 

“What are you doing in my room?” he asked instead. 

She opened her eyes at that, trying to focus on his face. Anywhere but the wide expanse of his chest or the line of dark hair that ran under the towel- _Stop!_

“You are in the hallway. Not your room,” she stammered. 

“Something is going on. I’m in my room and we can see each other.” 

“Can we maybe try to discuss this after you put clothes on?” It was becoming stupidly distracting to her. She was frightened he would hear her thoughts of speculation about what lay underneath the towel. 

He ignored her embarassement. “Can you see my surroundings? I can’t see your’s. I can only see you.”

“Same,” was all she said, flustered by the intimate nature which he spoke his last line. 

“Come to my room. We will figure it out.” 

“Can you close this before I do?” She wasn’t going to watch him change. Honestly, she didn’t trust herself to avoid looking at him. Or touching him. 

“I-I don’t know how to close it. Or make sure this thing doesn’t open again,” Ben said. 

“Let me try.” 

She thought of how he taught her to close her mind off. She concentrated, opening her eyes to find him gone. 

She tried to erase the image of him from her mind, but found it wasn’t working. Her earlier musings on his body were correct. He had more scars. Some bad ones too. It only strengthend his appeal, in her opinion. She went to his door, standing outside to gave him a few minutes to change. 

He must have sensed her, because he opened the door without her knocking and began talking immediately. 

“I think it’s a Force bond. I’ve heard of them before. Some people, usual family members, have stronger connections. I share one with my mother. Not actual bonds, but something like them. Some padawans used to form them with their masters too.”

“So who did it?” 

Ben was quiet for a moment. “The Force wanted us to have the connection, I suppose.”

“Is the Force named Ben too?” 

He shook his head. “I didn’t do it.”

“You sure? Maybe we went into each other’s heads too much.” 

“I’m not sure of anything. We would have to read about it.”

“Where would you find information like that?” 

“The Jedi texts. They are most likely with Luke.” 

“Perfect,” she grumbled. 

“We need to learn how to control it in the meantime. Or risk seeing each other an inopportune moments.” 

She grinned. “Was it inopportune? I didn’t notice.” 

He actually blushed. 

***

Her dreams were actual nightmares. A painful sensation of Force lightning caused her to jolt awake. She looked around her surroundings, trying to calm her fast breathing. 

She wasn’t usually one to have nightmares. If she did, she definitely didn’t remember them. 

Rose woke her up. 

“You okay? You looked like you were having a nightmare.” 

“I’m good,” she said. “Just a dream.” 

“Almost everyone has evacuated. I’m surprised Ben hasn't come to get you.” 

“He’s probably busy. Or he forgot about me,” she joked. 

“I don’t think that man could ever forget you,” Rose replied, a teasing glint in her eyes.

“What do you mean?” 

“He likes you.”

Rey laughed at that. “I think he just hates me a little less than everyone else.” 

“I see the way he looks at you,” her friend continued. “You’re what he focuses on in a crowded room.” 

Rey furrowed her eyebrows in distress. Did Ben like her? She certaintly found him attractive. He was the mysterious sort of Jedi that turned her life around. 

However, he had his demons and his fair share of problems. Not to mention she recently found out he was ten years her senior. He once saw her as a sister. The list could go on forever. 

The more she thought about it, the more she realized that Rose may have a point. He seemed to like spending time with her. He didn’t have any friends among the rebels nor those in the First Order. He probably only ever had her as a friend. 

She certainly felt lust for him. Seeing him nearly naked wasn’t helping her imagination either. 

“Anyway, you should get up and find him. I hear you guys have a new mission.”

She perked up a little. She wanted to hit herself when she realized it was not only from her sense of adventure, but because she got to stay with Ben in closed quarters. 

Rey hugged Rose goodbye. 

“Tell Finn that I hope he feels better soon and he’s in my thoughts,” Rey said. “I’ll see him when I get back.” 

“Of course.” Rey’s favorite ex-stormtrooper was currently in a bacta suit, healing from a spinal injury. 

After she bid Rose goodbye, Rey gathered her small belongings, going to the refresher quickly.

She decided to change her hair up. She simply did one top knot and let the rest hang on her shoulders. 

Strangely enough, she sensed when Ben was near. She followed his Force-signature, finding him outside. 

“Where have you been?” he asked. 

“Sleeping. I didn’t wake up when the other girls did.” 

He frowned, peering over at her. “Are you sick or something?”

“No. Just tired, I guess.”

“Well, you missed the entire evacuation. I was just about to see where you were. We are leaving soon. First Order ships are near.”

“I’m ready. Rose told me that there’s a new mission?”

Ben looked annoyed. “I guess everyone has heard. Luke’s old droid, R2-D2 woke up. He had the missing part of the map.” 

She grappled with the new information. “That’s good, right?”

Ben grimaced. “The old hermit is never going to agree to come with us. He hates me.”

“Well he can’t hate me. I can get my memories back and we can read the Jedi texts about the Force bond-“

“Don’t get took excited. I doubt he will help us at all. Might try to kill me on sight actually.”

“Maybe I’ll go up to him first.” 

“I’m not opposed to that idea,” Ben agreed. “Come on. We have to survive this attack if we are actually going to see him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope questions are answered. I incorporated some of TLJ and TFA in here as well. I do love the idea of Ben and Rey at the Jedi academy together! Like I imagine this shy and outcast Ben just being friends with a crazy kid Rey.  
> Luke isn't going to play a big part. Some character development is all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke and Rey confront one another. Ben comforts Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually hate this chapter for some reason but I'm posting it anyway. I feel like I could of held off on the smut but like I have to keep everyones interest XD Imma bathe in holy water bye guys

They rode in a different ship, a U-55 loadlifter this time, which couldn’t be detected by First Order ships, thanks to the handywork of Rose. 

She punched in the coordinates to Luke’s planet, Ach-To. He was in the Unknown Regions. Ben had no idea why he chose that particular planet. 

“Are you nervous?” she asked him. 

“A little,” he admitted. 

“Do you think he will recognize me?”

“Of course. You were secretly his favorite, I think.”

“I was?” Rey was mystified by the thought. 

“Absolutely.”

“I’m going to offer his lightsaber to him,” she said. 

He scoffed. “It called to you. It’s your’s now.”

“I’m going to offer it anyway. To show that we mean him no harm.” 

“I’m sure that’s all he needs,” Ben said sarcastically. 

She scanned the front window as they pulled out of lightspeed. The planet was beautiful, blue with touches of clouds. No land could be spotted from space. 

“Maybe he drowned himself,” Ben sniggered. 

“There has to be an island. I’m scanning the surface for lifeforms.”

A few minutes later, she managed to locate him. He was the only human on the planet. And she thought she was lonely. 

Ben piloting skills were shown with his prescise manner in which he parked the ship on the narrow beach.

“Something’s wrong,” Ben said when they landed, his face appearing concered. 

“What?” Many things ran through her head, but none of them what he said next. 

“I don’t detect his Force signature. I used to be able to if we were near one another.” 

“Maybe he’s asleep?”

“It doesn’t work like that,” he scowled. 

“We will figure it out. For now, stay here. I’ll come get you soon.” 

“This is ridiculous,” was all he said. 

She stepped out of the ship, the breeze hitting her. She had her staff to steady her as she trekked up the elevated island. 

The island was beautiful, green and soothing. She could feel the balance in the Force that Ben was always mentioning. It was intoxicating. 

She was proud that she wasn’t out of breath when she reached the top. Her breathing quicked, however, when she took in the man standing by the cliff. 

He was staring at the wide expanse of the ocean below him. His brown hood was up. He turned to her slowly, taking off his hood with one metal hand and the other made of flesh. 

She felt an incredible sense of deja-vu when she looked at him. Wordlessly, she held out his lightsaber to him. 

His blue eyes flickered to the weapon, then back to her face. His eyes appeared almost agonized. 

“Rey,” he said. 

The hand holding his lightsaber shook slightly. Her palms sweated. 

He stepped forward to take his lightsaber. Without warning, he chucked it behind him. 

She stared at him incredulously. Before she could speak, he beat her to it. 

“What are you doing here? With him?” Luke’s stance was defensive. _Did he feel Ben’s signature?_

“I-I’ve come to ask you to come with us. The Resistance needs you. Leia needs you,” she said. The more she stared at him, the more she realized that their idea might have been a folish one.

“Us? Did Ben Solo return from the ashes of Kylo Ren then?” Luke snapped.

She had no idea who Kylo Ren was. Her confusion must have shown on her face. 

“Did he not tell you, Rey? He’s the Jedi Killer. Apprentice to the Sith, Snoke. Whatever he may have told you, that is the real man.” 

She knew these things of course. Hearing them said aloud by an actual Jedi, the teacher of the pupils Ben killed, was entirely different. 

“I didn’t know he went by Kylo Ren,” she blurted. “But I know he’s done horrible things. He’s trying to make it right.” 

Luke stared at her. The silence between them was deafening. 

“Maybe you two can talk. I know what happened between you,” she said. 

“I made a mistake. It cost me everything. Even you paid the price,” Luke sighed. 

“You both made mistakes. Talk to him and he can explain. He killed Snoke and returned to the Resistance. That has to mean something.” 

“I’m a different person now, Rey. It means close to nothing now. I have nothing.” 

Her heart broke for him. “That’s not true. You have Leia and Han and Chewie and now Ben and me,” she babbled. “We won’t let you down. We need you,” she insisted. 

“What am I supposed to do? Take down the First Order by myself with my laser sword? You don’t need me kid,” he declared. “My time rebeling is done. It’s time for the Jedi to end.” 

The thought horrified her. “No. They can’t! The Jedi are who protected the galaxy for thousands of years. They have to continue.” 

“Rey, I have cut myself off from the Force. The only reason I can sense Ben is because of our familial bond. There are no more Jedi.”

“Give me back my memories please then,” she begged. “I need them to understand. I look back on my childhood and only see glimpses. I will leave you alone if that’s what you want.” 

Luke considered her. “You will remember that night. Are you sure you want to do this?”

She nodded, determined. This was not the mission. But deep in her heart, she knew she wouldn’t be the one to convince Luke to leave. 

His hand reached and landed on her forehead. She braced herself for the mental invasion that she could always feel when Ben did it. Surprisingly, she barely could feel Luke there. 

She gasped when suddenly, everything hit her. The block was dropped. 

She struggled to make sense of everything. Her brain filled in missing pieces and small bits of information immediately. 

Ben was in a lot of her memories. He was a tall and awkward teenager, but he entertained her nevertheless. She looked up to him. Loved him. 

She didn’t get much of her parents. She was unhappy with them. That was the only thing she could confirm. 

Luke was like her father. He got her candy and old fashioned postcards from off-planet and showed her silly Force tricks. She loved him too. 

Ben struggled with people. Her memories agreed with her assessment. He wasn’t social in her memories. She remembered he felt ostracized as the grandson of Darth Vader, which came out when she was around seven. 

He turned when she was eight. That night, she had taken a walk and came back to find a massacre occuring. She hid behind a tree as her fellow classmates-few of her friends as well-were slaughtered. She had no weapon on her, nor enough training to take on the seven figures fighting. She didn’t even realize it was Ben until he stood over her and took of his mask. 

His face was devoid of emotion. “Come with me,” he had commanded. 

She numbly followed him, the shock setting in her system. Luke was injured near Ben’s tent. She ran to him, frightened. 

Her face was covered in tears and grime. The temple was on fire in the distance. Her home. 

She cowered behind Luke, who looked at his nephew, panicked. 

“Don’t hurt her-“

“I would never,” Ben said. “She needs to be hidden. Snoke will find her, like he found me. Wipe her memories as well and hide her signature.”

“Why are you doing this?” Luke asked, his voice cracking. “Sith don’t spare loved ones.”

“I’m not a Sith,” Ben had said. He cast her a glance, one of sadness and pity. “I do love you, Rey. I hope we meet again one day.”

She barely registered his words. She clung to Luke and looked up at Ben. 

“If we meet again, you will pay for what you did,” she whispered. “I will never forgive you for this.” 

He flinched at that. “We’ll see.” 

She focused once more on the present. Luke was eyeing her warily. 

“Are you okay?” 

She didn’t know. She walked up to her old teacher and wrapped her arms around him. He returned the hug tentatively. 

“Goodbye, Master Luke. I hope we meet again,” she pulled away. “Thank you for all your help.” 

He stared at her sadly. “May the Force be with you.” 

She held out her hand to summon his lightsaber. It flew to her easily. With that, she took off down the mountain. Even though she failed to convince Luke, she had something just as valuable. His teachings. 

She stepped onto the ship. She felt like Ben was an entirely different person. She felt like she actually knew him now. This was both good and bad. 

“How did it go?” he asked, spining around to face her in the pilot’s chair. 

“Well,” she said, staring at the face of a boy she once loved. 

Ben’s eyes narrowed. “Will he come with us?” 

“No.” 

“Then how did it go well?” 

“He gave me my memories back,” she admitted. “I am never to forgive you, I guess.” 

His eyes widened. “I never thought he’d do it.” 

“I begged him to. I needed to know.” 

“Needed to know what?” 

“I needed to know what it was like to hate you, even for one moment. Because I find that I cannot, no matter how much I try. Why didn’t you stay with me, Ben?” she finally asked.

He looked tormented. “I wanted to. I was cornered by the both of them. Snoke whispering in my ear and Luke attempting to kill me. I had enough. I choose a side. The wrong one evidently.” 

“I don’t think I can do this anymore Ben. Just drop me off at the nearest-“

“No,” he interrupted. “You don’t get to run away. I defied my master for you. I killed him for you Rey.” 

“What does that even mean?” 

“Luke wasn’t hiding your signature anymore. You were the light in the darkness. Snoke saw it. He was going to hunt you down and kill you. I couldn’t let it happen.” 

“Are you saying that you turned to the light, for me?” she hissed. 

“Yes, I mean you were part of the reason.” He paused for a second. “I told you when I left you that I loved you and I hoped we met again. They were both the truth.” 

She stormed to the back of the small ship, where a double bed was. She put her knees up, placing her face among her elbows. She simply cried. 

She heard Ben approach. She didn’t move when she felt the bed dip. She felt his hand, not gloved for once, resting on her upper arm. After a minute, he ran his hand up and down gently, as if he were trying to soothe her. 

She hadn’t cried liked this since Jakku. She sniffled pathetically, angling her body to face the wall. She laid down. 

He began to stand, as if to leave. She turned around, grasping his hand quickly. 

“Don’t leave me,” she whispered. “Stay with me.” 

He looked surprised. “Okay,” he agreed. 

She angled her body once more to the wall. He lay beside her, but didn’t move to touch her. 

She fell into a fitful sleep.

———

When she awoke, Ben was still beside her. He was still asleep. They were quite close to one another.

She watched him, his long eyelashes brushing his prominent cheekbones. His face was relaxed and open for once. The ship was slightly darker than before, indicating it was night on the planet. 

“Ben,” she whispered.

His eyes fluttered open, ever the light sleeper. 

“Why didn’t you come to me sooner?” she asked. 

He blinked groggily. It was endearing. 

“I couldn’t see your light. I had to hone in on it. Took time. I offered to do the mission because I knew you would be on Jakku.”

“You came back for me,” she mumbled. 

“Hope wasn’t enough for me. I had to see you again,” he said. 

She reached out to softly run her hand on his check. She pressed her forehead against his. “I think I still love you. Even if you are my mortal enemy now.” 

“I’m your mortal enemy? How?” he seemed distracted by their closeness.

“You are the Jedi Killer. You are looking at the last Jedi,” she declared. 

Before he could comment, she closed the distance between their lips, boldly climbing on top of him. She took the lead for a few terrifying moments. Ben responded quickly from his shock and teasingly ran his tongue along her lips. He deepened the kiss when she gasped in surprise. She tentatively met his tongue and found he was actually a very good kisser. When he pulled away, he bit her lip lightly. 

“What was that?” Ben asked, breathing a little heavier than usual. 

“When two people like eachother-“ 

“I know what that was,” he interupted, his checks reddening. “Why though?”

“Did you not hear my declaration of love like a minute ago? Not to mention, I think you're attractive and-“

He interupted her nervous rambling. “You are too good for me.”

“Maybe. But it’s my decision to settle,” she grinned. “Can we stop talking for a bit?” 

He sat up from his reclining position, bringing her with him. She had a hand around his neck and kissed him once more.

This time, she moved her lower body on instinct as they kissed. He groaned into the kiss, sending a wave of heat through her. She felt him, hard through the black pants he wore. He pressed up against her teasingly. Her brain was becoming fogged with lust.

“We can stop-“

“I don’t want to,” she interupted him. She pulled back from him, reaching for her arm bands and slipping them off. Ben caught on, helping her out of her shirt. 

She had on a breast band, which she undid. It was a tricky thing. 

She never been naked in front of anyone before. It was intimidating for only a second. Ben stared at her face before his eyes roamed over body. 

“Kriff, you’re beautiful,” he said. His hand ran from her collarbone, to the peak of her breast. She let out a noise when he lightly pinched one. 

He didn’t waste time, grabing her waist to flip her over. His mouth descended to her chest, taking the tip in his mouth. She moaned when he ran his teeth along her teasingly. 

She was aroused. Desperate for him. 

“More, Ben,” she let out. He followed her instructions, reaching under he to pull off her legginings. She helped, kicking them off. 

“Too many clothes,” she let out, tugging at his shirt. 

He nodded, getting off the bed to stand. He began with his robe, then his shirt, revealing the chest she saw in the hallway not long ago. 

His fingers fumbled with his pants and she smiled at him. 

“Hurry, before I change my mind,” she teased. 

He actually smilled. She enjoyed being bathed in the light. 

He revealed his imposing member a second later. She didn’t get long to stare, as he climbed on top of her. She gasped at the feeling of their skin touching. He was warm. He kissed her again, down her neck this time. 

“Have you done this before?” he asked. 

“No.” Never wanted to before now. 

“I have. It might hurt you a bit,” he said. She could feel him between them, hard and pulsing. 

“I trust you,” she reassured him. 

He pressed his forehead against her, one handing holding him up and the other going between her legs. 

Heaven. It was pure heaven. 

He circled the top of her sex, a place she knew was sensitive since she hit puberty. Nothing compared to the pleasure. 

“Fuck,” Ben pulled his hand away. Rey was mortified when it was covered with her. She was even more mystified when he licked it. 

“Are you sure?” he asked once more. 

“Yes,” she said, determined. 

He pressed against her and suddenly she felt the senstation of being filled. 

At first, it was painful. It felt horribly foreign. 

“Are you okay?” he asked. 

She kissed him sweetly. “Stop talking so much.”

He obeyed and moved gently. 

“You aren’t hurting me,” she whispered against his lips. “You can go harder.” 

She clutched his shoulders as he thrusted harder. He was rubbing against her in all the right ways. She found his groans even more amazing. _I am doing this to him_. 

He held himself on one hand and reached down to rub the sensitive bundle of nerves above her entrance. She cried out and bit his lip a second later. 

She reached some kind of height ten minutes later. She gasped his name, then was speechless with pleasure as Ben picked up his pace, finishing a minute after her. He pulled out of her, spending himself outside her body with a groan. Her eyes widened at the mess. She would of had to get medication to prevent pregnancy. She probably still should. Her lust-induced brain didn’t even think of that. He must have thought of it.

She was silent, watching him as he fell to the bed next to her. 

She sat up, avoiding the mess on the bed. He covered it with a sheet. 

“I don’t think this is what our mission objective was,” she said, curling up next to him. 

He pressed a kiss in her hair. “We definitely fucked this one up.” 

There was suddenly a knock on the door. They both looked at eachother in mortification. 

They got dressed quickly. Rey stripped the bed and threw the sheets in a bag. 

Rey answered it. She knew she must have looked flushed. She didn’t even want to think about Luke knowing she was with Ben. 

No one was there. Around seven books lay near the ramp of the ship. She picked them up, reading the inside covers. 

They were the Jedi texts. Rey looked around for Luke. He wasn’t there. Suddenly, she heard a mad cackle of laughter. She turned towards it, only to find the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So no, Luke didn't come upon them doing it. I like to think Yoda stole the books and gave them to Rey in order to continue the Jedi ways.


End file.
